Lord Stanley’s C Cups

USP NHL: STANLEY CUP FINAL-WASHINGTON CAPITALS AT S HKN VGK WSH USA NVThe Stanley Cup is the longest standing championship trophy awarded for any professional sport. It takes 28 wins in four best of seven rounds to hoist the Cup, and unlike other trophies, it’s the players that do so first. #LookingAtYouLombardi The Cup has had many adventures in its day, or at least one of them has. There are actually three cups- the original (which is retired), the “Permanent Cup” that sits in the Hockey Hall of Fame in Toronto full time, and the “Presentation Cup” that spends a hundred days traveling the world; seeing strippers, soldiers and pool bottoms. #AllTrue

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Part 6: We want all of your burritos, and you’re gonna like it

mexican-american-war-H

The Mexican military had just taken a beating by the Texian military, yet they still wanted to remain on good terms with the newly formed Republic of Texas. Their only caveat? Don’t join the US. What did the Texans do? They became the 28th state on December 29th, 1845. #DontTellMeWhatToDo The US promptly caused a questionable intrusion into a disputed border between Texas and Mexico, causing an incident that would “justify” the invasion of Vietn…. wait, wrong country. I meant Cub… this is quickly becoming a reoccurring theme. The US invaded Mexico on April 25th, 1846, because Mexican food is awesome, and they wanted some. #DontTryRatChorizo #TrustMe

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To Absent Companions

memorial day

I normally write in order to intersperse humor with history. Today is not one of those posts. Memorial Day is a day of remembering all American troops who have passed, whether they were fighting on the shores of Normandy in 1944 or handing out pens at Doha in 2004. They all deserve a modicum of respect, as they all have done something few others would do- volunteer their lives for their country. When some hear that, they take it literally; however, those years spent in the military you will never get back, good, bad or indifferent. #RememberTheGoodTimes

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Part 5: We’ve Had Enough Of Your Crap, Santa Anna

san jacinto

After word got out about what happened to the Alamo, the Texian army continued their eastward retreat. While the Alamo was under siege, the Mexican army had also taken the Goliad mission under siege. The Goliad mission was a much more defensible position, and it held out longer. On March 20th, the garrison at Goliad surrendered. Seven days later, the garrison of 342 Texians were executed on Palm Sunday. With that, the Texian retreat nearly became a rout. #TacticalWithdrawalAtAHighRateOfSpeed

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Part 4: Give Me Symbolism Or Give Me Death, But Mostly Death

alamo5

“Remember the Alamo!” is mostly known as the war cry of Sam Houston’s troops as they defeated the Mexican army at the Battle of San Jacinto, the Alamo has taken its place in American legend. The key players at the battle were well known heroes of their own right in their respective countries- General Santa Anna (https://hashtaghistory.org/2018/04/25/part-2-tequila-has-always-led-to-bad-decisions/) for the Mexicans, and Colonel Bowie and Davey Crockett for the Texians (https://hashtaghistory.org/2018/05/02/part-3-weird-hats-and-big-knives/) On paper, it should have been an epic battle, when in reality, it took less than an hour for the Mexicans to turn the defenders into carne asada. #RememberThat What’s worse, is that most of what people “know to be true” isn’t. #ButMahHeroez

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Part 3: Weird Hats and Big Knives

Jim and Davy

Two of the notable fighters at The Alamo were Davy Crockett and Jim Bowie. Most of what you know about Davy is either from his ability to spin a tall tale or his personal PR firm, Walt Disney. Jim Bowie? You probably only know about his knife that looks more like a meat cleaver. These two people could not be any more different, yet they fought for the same cause- the right to seize land from Mexico through squatting.

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Part 2: Tequila Has Always Led To Bad Decisions

santa annaAntonio Lopez de Santa Anna was quite the character in early Mexican political and military circles throughout much of the 19th century. Do you think American politics are bad? He was President of the country eleven times in twenty-two years, never consecutively, and at times without receiving one vote on the ballot. #RussiansDidIt He led the Mexican Army in putting down the Texas Revolution, which was going quite well until Sam Houston caught him sleeping off a hangover. Santa Anna’s leg alone has a story worthy of its own focus, and his prosthetic leg has one as well. #SnorkWarning

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Part I: Texas is Revolting

The-Texas-Revolution

Texas- that fabled state of either pride or ridicule. If you meet someone and they’re from Texas, they will tell you in the first five minutes of a conversation. Their place of origin would likely supersede any claim to being a Marine, a vegan or a cross-fitter, as they take that much pride in their state. #ItsHappened Maybe not a vegan, as there is no way you can smell a Texas brisket on the smoker and decide that the lawn clippings taste better. Ridicule? Texans get it. Watch Full Metal Jacket sometime. #RIPGunnyErmey So what is it about Texas that gives them the foundation of this pride?

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